i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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