So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
