i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
