Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
