Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
as a side note pls kill me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
