Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
