yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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