o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
