Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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