Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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