You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
