remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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