there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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