She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize