Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
