pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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