At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
