i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
