Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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