i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
