Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
