i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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