Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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