She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
