Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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