Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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