garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why didn't you poke me back
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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