I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
