So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
