Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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