is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
