to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize