I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we should paint friendship bongs
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