He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
