I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
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My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize