Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
