were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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