Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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