we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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