I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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