It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
