just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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