This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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