O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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