Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
high people should be assigned attendants
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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