shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
