take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
