what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
