That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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