There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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