Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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