Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
