no, he came in my armpit
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
