Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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