sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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