she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
