Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She bit a glass in half.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
