I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
