never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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